My Mind

• What follows is my mind, a thing altogether alien to me. This is a fact I wish to change but fear I may never see accomplished, for everyday something new is added that I am unaware of.

Tenet of Thought. The prime principle of knowledge is

I am not omniscient, therefore I know nothing.

        To know a thing is to know all factors involved in creation, existence, and expiration.

        To know these factors is to know all aspects of their own form and function.

        This creates an eternal cycle of relation that ultimately leads to the unknown.

        Unless all is known, there can be only one thing that is certain.

I know that I know nothing.

In this I am free.

The beginning of the path to knowledge is

I must learn the mind that learns all, I must learn myself.

        From one point does all perception come and that is the mind of the one perceiving.

        It is the individual who creates and molds the world around them.

        It is from here that the universe has shape and meaning.

        By understanding how I come to shape my universe I understand how to reshape it.

I am what learns, I must learn everything I can about it.

In this I am alone.

With this, let me begin talking to myself.

Hello.

Hello back.

Just had a thought, I am a drinker.

Aren’t we all?

Hah!

OK what did you mean?

Something stupid like that I had more of a talent for drinking than eating.

Hm.

God, why did you choose Moondog to listen to? He always pulls me in!

Me too.

It’s almost as if he is describing everything.

I know.

It’s-

Beautiful.

Yeah.

This is a long intro. 

You can’t just jump into the meat of a conversation though, even with yourself. Silence is beautiful.

And greetings are important.

Can’t say if I have heard one song of Moondog’s that I haven’t loved.

There isn’t one. You love them all.

Been thinking about trial and error a lot. Mostly to do with music.

Took you a while, you were about to get lost on another thought there weren’t you?

Yes I was, well perhaps the greatest musicians never knew the names of the strings they played. Think of the the first songs, there was no way to record them.

You simply know them.

Do you think that the quality of music has descended as time goes on?

No, I am describing a talent that is very much alive today. Exploration. Input and output.

Perhaps the noises available to the human ear are limited but you can put any number of sounds together.

The possibilities are near limitless. As for input and output, it is the musician who constantly puts new sounds together in ways pleasing to the ear.

This requires just playing.

Think of it, a person just making sounds in as many ways as possible. They remember each cord, placement and sound.

They begin to put combinations of those sounds together.

Exactly. And that is a talent that is still very much alive. Trial and error. Exploration. Discovery

I like the image of this musician, hands swift as they are playing, slowly finding the right notes. And little by little they write a song.

Moondog invokes this wonderfully.

Do you think I could write a song?

You know we are good at listening but we are bad at recreating.

But if I just develop this skill efficiently, listen and put sounds together-

You would die having made the musical equivalent of static. Your way seems like it could discover all notes and one day all possibilities of combination.

However, there is such an enormous amount and range that doing this without any ear for combinations is nigh impossible to find a tune before the end.

I guess it is unfeasible. It sounds almost robotic.

Like a machine and not man.

That’s not how we work I guess. Or maybe we are and we were just really shit long ago and are just getting better as we explore sound together.

Until all is known.

A sad day that could be.

Too bad we’ll never live to see it.

Although we get to see it’s creation before our eyes.

But what is it we work for?

I don’t know.

It would still be music wouldn’t it? Music is just sound put together and called music.

I suppose so.

I suppose you could write a song.

Chapter one?

Chapter one. How do you want to die?

Fighting a Bear, bare handed.

Ah yes, said it a million times. But that only covers one exit.

?

Well if death is everything that everyone has said, you cross your fingers and hope that it was your version. And if it isn’t?

That’s the point to the bear. I don’t pray to any one god, I pay homage to them all by not choosing any one.

What if the gods are vengeful? You would be damned for praying to others?

Sucks to suck.

Aye, it do.

But what do I know of god’s? I am but man and I cannot think for anyone but myself. Much less a god.

Hopefully being me was all they needed. Keep being then, until I find out.

The Bear then?

Can’t say I didn’t have favorites.

It is best to go to Valhalla.

Who cares about the truth of the end. Just go with what you love. Then there can be a little love in your death.

And what comes after?

I don’t know that!

I know.

No you don’t.

Oh yeah.

This is chapter one? We started with the end.

Well it’s a good beginning.

We’ll see.

Talking of things we do not know to see one day if we did know. Faith, without any grounding in the world today.

So… who I am that doesn’t exist?

Perhaps how I can feel so greatly for things that do not exist.

Almost everything I think about, I do not know.

That’s everything I think about.

I’m just assuming my way through life. Talking of gods too is talking of a thing so far beyond me.

It is an assumption to their very existence.

But I like the side with gods more, it’s more colourful and fun.

We painted that you know.

Hah! No I don’t, but yeah. It’s all too human.

So does that mean that the side without gods isn’t?

No, it’s on the tapestry too.

With duller colors.

It wasn’t always. It’s older than all of them. Thoughts as old as man. What we have today are but what is written of. Colors fade.

Then again what do I know?

What I know.

Then I know nothing.

Let’s move away form the two and come back as one.

Agreed.

Who am I?

A name?

A thought?

        What is this being that walks this lonely path?

        I cannot hear the thoughts of others, for there are two voices I know that silently whispers to me everyday.

        I hear it, thoughts manifested into reality, and it would appear it bends to my will

               Or was it I that bends to it?

        I think of it as being me yet here I stand sometimes opposed to it,

               For It withholds from me things I thought I once knew and makes them as secrets I must discover again.

It holds me yet is also separate,

And at times I tells I what to do and urges me to action.

        Fragments and whispers are all I get at times, overwhelming thought at another, and still at others a void stretches out before me,

               Infinity?

I clear my head and I see the world not as the lessons I have been taught but as they are.

These objects become simply as the form I know them to be, thought separated from image before me.

        Thus my mind wanders, time blends, and the world passes in a blur.

        I allow myself what I have come to call peace and, until a familiar noise, voice, or place calls me back, I wander the vast expanse.

               Is it peace? Is it vast?

               Am I but walking across a pool of thought, calmed by the lack of need to call forth my mind?

               Is it but a conveyor belt, perhaps a sphere like of liquid that seems calm but just beneath is a maelstrom?

                  Its vastness but an illusion as I proceed across an unchanging surface, walking in circles.

               Do I witlessly allow the information to pass before me into the pool as I walk across by entering in this state?

                  Is this why at times my mind hides names for things I see, words I could know if I had watched their passing with a present mind? 

Even if I had watched their passing, then too might my mind hold the name from me for it never gave me the care to keep it. 

                  The images I know, but for many things there is no image but an idea.

At times words for things become unnecessary, for a thing is no matter the name by which I call it. A feeling.

I see before me limitless possibilities of thought.

In keeping with the prime principle of knowledge it must be that what I think is but a fraction of a whole.

Also, to claim to know a thing absolute is a dangerous one.

        Perhaps it isn’t dangerous but merely a sign of great conviction and force of character?

        I still have seen both the act and the aftermath of those willing to commit great acts of atrocity with such conviction.

        I do not fear my fellow man who is bold of mind and able to claim to know a thing for themselves.

        I fear they who might claim such a truth as universal. To claim omniscience.

        To become so enamoured in a thought that the end result is to take the life of those not in line

        Is to impede mankind’s ability to explore the unknown, which holds wisdom we have yet to explore.

We can exist as contradictions of thought and still live as part of the same universe.

I do not seek to tell others of the reality of the world they live in.

I seek to teach and to learn for my answers may not be the ones another finds.

I will poise to they who listen the same questions I asked myself, perhaps share aspects of my answers, and hear the result.

        I fear though that perhaps I asked myself the wrong questions.

        I am hopeful though that my fellow man will see my errors in their own mind and progress themselves beyond me.

Can I understand another’s mind greater than themselves?

        This is an understanding that is limited and can only scratch but the surface of an individual for I do not share their thoughts.

               Another possibility is that I can simply see parts of a person they do not themselves know. 

               I think it is likely they know more about themselves but that they allow attributes to remain hidden that an observer might find easier to see,

Or more that they do not know this nature. 

The very sight of a person is not a thing present to themselves outside of reflection and they do not know what their own image creates unless captured in time by a frame.

        Thus to know these parts is to know a person, not in whole but in a specific part, greater than them.

Is it that I see my own faults greater than I do others that allows this?

Am I seeking faults in others so I might think less of my own?

        By associating and picking out faults other people have, am I actually picking at my own when I see others whose behavior is greater than my own or matches?

        This could be; that I have the ability to pick out aspects in others and when I see a perceived exaggeration of a thing I fault myself on, I focus on it.

               This would in turn make it to where I pick at others, though internally, at things that I find wrong only in myself.

               Is this externalizing, or internalizing if it goes unsaid, my fears at my own behaviour, and attempting to alter the world around me, by making known another’s tendencies.

               Tendencies that I find annoying but do not harm others, tendencies I have.

Perhaps I should ask why I find a thing, behavioral tick, attitude annoying to myself.

        Can I change how I view such things? Can I change?

               Perhaps seeking to assuage a behavior or finding outlet is better.

               It could also be that by simply informing a person of their action or attitude they might simply correct themselves as it could be they are as critical of themselves as I

What is the nature of divinity to mankind? How is it I view such a monumentous thing?

I am not a man who holds great meaning to the divine, but to ignore such is to once again block off myself from higher thinking and shut out another section of self.

All is possible.

Yet all must be questioned.

If I was to say what is to be sought,

It would be a unity of thought. Not within a whole but in a singular part. A human.

Divinity is perhaps, as I believe, the last thing that will be discovered as we, humanity, progress towards knowledge within the infinite. 

To ask this question I also question myself.

        For what purpose do I seek the answer to a question whose nature I cannot even begin to comprehend?

        Perhaps I am hoping to gleam some nature of myself in these questions so I can find a pathway of thought.

        There will always be doors to those who seek them.

        But should I open them doesn’t mean I understand the contents of what I see.

When it comes to a god, existence, or otherwise, I know that I do not know.

So instead I look to others whose actions and words I must mull over. 

I am so very limited,

Singular as I am,

So it is in the muted many I must seek this. 

None in the nature of the divine can come to a wrong answer, only action I see as wrong.

        This is the same stance I take on all ideas. Actions are the place from which morality derives. 

We have words and names for divine beings whose lessons and stories guide us on the pathways of life.

In their books and holy sites we can hear the preaching of good will and unity, whatever one’s view on that may be.

        Here it is hard for none of the words in these books are truly divine, they are of man.

        Wisdom hides in plain sight within them yet are also surrounded by the words of those who seek to use such power to their own gain.

        Beware those who claim to know the nature and will of a god, for in this they are placing themselves above the god.

I am afraid once again of those who claim to know, especially with this topic.

        No other path of thought has such ability to rouse anger in the hearts of so many.

        I believe people hold on to a name far stronger than the lessons we are given.

        No divine beings asks for others to be killed, death is beneath such a being in my mind.

        It is our fellow man that asks such. They carve out divinity as a mirror of themselves

Does this mean that divinity is as vast as each person’s individuality? 

        There is power in a name. People will kill for the name of a thing they do not know.

        I wish others would see as I do. That a name has far less power than the lessons we try to learn through it.

Yet still I have seen the greatest good in people who follow such beings and the teachings perceived as theirs.

        Those who wish to better themselves.

        Those who are brought to great acts of altruism in some divine’s name.

        Those who would take a stranger in and shelter him.

        Those who would lay down their own life to protect such a stranger.

        Perhaps these acts are lessened because these people are taking them not as their own but as another would want them to.

        Perhaps still these are but lessons we all can learn in life form a million different sources, the only difference being the name one gives the lessons learned.

        Do such sources matter? To know them so we may know the lessons we learn better and by extent our own mind, perhaps.

        That I learned from a teacher or from observation is not the focus of learning. Learning for learnings sake and to learn of good for goodness sake.

        We all may learn alone but perhaps the lessons we learn aren’t so different, only their source which perhaps still is only different in a name.

Why would a being, a god, need such material possessions and have desires that pertain to the mortal realm?

        Is it humanity who twists and pulls those who place faith in a god to do their own ill will?

        If a god were to speak to me I am afraid I could not understand it.

        I must gleam its meaning from what I see.

        If I understand why I feel, act, speak, and write then maybe I will have some sort of idea.

To believe in the divine is to believe in the unknown.

I realize that perhaps it is only in death, a path which has no return, that we may see it.

But no man did any wrong in believing, man does so in following blindly and letting their actions be for a purpose they haven’t given thought or an existence that is not of our own.

My mind often brings me to place myself in another’s shoes. Sometimes I think of those far placed from myself in distance and time.

Had I been a prophet or if one day someone takes my words as having a grain of wisdom, conceited as that thought may be, I would mourn and despise my words for

        It may be that my words bring my fellow man to take another’s life.

        Had I been Jesus, Abraham, Moses, Gautama Buddha, or any other prophet

I would have cried at all the life lost to my name. I have cried over such.

These men have inspired some of the greatest and the worst.

Their names used in great acts of altruism and kindness and some of the greatest acts of evil and destruction.

Their names generating more power and force than perhaps their teachings.

Twisted and changed through time but also molded and given new form to fit a people to spread good will.

        Sometimes I think on whether it would be better that one’s words on the nature of the world be forgotten so none may die in the echo of being spoken,

        Or that because death is unavoidable it is best that the words with great meaning are spread so that in time humanity can sift through the ill-begotten and reach toward the divine.

What says which words and ideas go where are time’s place to tell.

For me it is that which hinders knowingly the right of each person to live their own life.

To kill for an ideal is never an answer.

Teach and learn. Learn and teach. Those unwilling to listen may be swayed in time.

If my words go unheard, perhaps I should look to myself for the cause and not to those who listen. Perhaps I should be thankful that none would fight or preach my mind. None would seek violence in my name to be sure the words are heard above others. 

To gaze upon the mind of a god is to gaze upon the true nature of humanity; the entirety of mankind, the mind which we all hold kinship to.

Perhaps it is in humanity that the divine can be found.

        Is it all of us?

        I see a god as being a reflection of what god is of.

        And what it mirrors is the mind of the one that comprehends it.

        Each of us may be separate in our minds, cages that we cannot break from, but perhaps there is a greater consciousness.

My vision is of humanity.

        I see before me a field of beings whose thoughts are just as aspiring as mine.

        We all think together, feel together, and exist side by side.

        Your god could be my god, no matter the name you call it by.

        Pieces all to a whole I still cannot see and do not know.

If each of our minds were to be analyzed and described in whole, the collective, all aspects of every person, then a picture would unfold

        Like a tapestry of mankind

        Our past, present, and future all as one

        The ever changing and undulating fabric of our beings

        Woven together but ever lacking of singular form

        Changing to fit us, not us it.

This is my god. And it is all of us, therefore I accept that I am but a fraction of a whole. That we can be contradictions. That your answers are also as real as mine. I cannot know it’s form. I don’t even know my own mind, how could I claim to know anything besides?

I am afraid of my words. They define but do not bind me. Formless I wish to be yet here I write in words that others would see as absolute in meaning. None of us are ever as solid as we want.

Things change us and, though I wish to be more certain of the ground I tread, I know that I do not know. So I try to walk slowly, take in all I can.

Power

It is this that plagues the world. How can it be that there is so much? There are many places from which it derives yet so few are given thought. 

Perhaps a singularity of mindset and driven purpose. I would find much more power in my life were I to take up arms, speak loudly and often, or create. 

Patience is ok too. 

Aye.

The way that people in the world work is what holds people to the world. 

Is space travel such a wonder that the woes of this planet must be put on hold?

We are also bound to time and the amount of words getting into our heads is limited. If we discuss the woes of the world all the time then things move slowly in life. 

Economically speaking.

Action and behavior and tasks accomplished may go down, well the productive ones at least, but that is not what I meant. It is a given fact. We are upon this world, every living thing. The nature of action and why it is the economy of the world. 

That is a lovely thought, write it down.

He saw her thus: 

Gravity kept pushing her down every time she jumped up, yet still she defied it. Pain tried to tell her no. She did not listen. Countless others pulled, pushed, tugged, gripped, held onto, and were dragged effortlessly no matter how hard existence willed it not. Thoughts raced to his mind of whether or not she knew. He didn’t want to talk to her, though. He imagined she knew. It probably explained the pleasant smile she had always upon her face. He simply knew from all this one thing, she did not belong in this world. 

There are different kinds of power and that should be one of the first things to write here. Power, or more precisely from where the power derives is the factor by which you can tell the difference. 

Power from another person:

It is this one that is most important. It also encompasses most domains by which most individuals will seek or obtain power. It is the driving force of societies and communities in humanity. The questions in particular that are of interest to this field are in order Who? What? When? Where? Why?

From who is obtained person. What pertains to action. When is time. Where is place. Why is reason.

In person there is a profile of relationships to other persons. Humans will naturally steer themselves in the direction that offers them the most power over the people around them. This is not to say that it is control. No this is power, though power and control come into contact quite often. Obtaining pleasant atmosphere and peace with others requires an equilibrium with a person. For children this is a simple task of adjusting to the adult’s life(parent), following in pre ordained instruction prescribed before birth, and carving out self from it all. If an action is desired that is out of reach of power from self then power from others is one choice. It is usually the best choice or only. To have self be moved physically from place to place the child automatically follows the adult. An infant holds some of the greatest power there is for it will be protected by most with fervency. If the infant was more aware of power or more aware of language and cogniscizing this I’m sure it would take advantage. It’s likely they do take full advantage within their developing state. Crying and whining do achieve action. Much comes down to how you obtain favorable action and what actions develop what response in relation to another individual. Power also comes down to another thing. Freedom. With certain people there is wonderful advantage and strength or power to be derived from latching yourself in life to another. This can be with a friend, family, or stranger soon to be friend or family. Knowing how a person responds is most key, for action is not something that is universally accepted. Removal or ostracizing people from your life is also power. It grants what was already mentioned, control. Maintaining an individual’s environment might be very important to the individual. Those who are more shackled might find power from those that require attention. One thing is certain. In obtaining the profile of a person, understanding the first actions to obtain favorable conditions and whether or not it is in line with your self is key. Will a person play for power? Yes. 

Putting on an act can be the best way to obtain desired reaction from a person if one wishes to find their own desires achieved sometimes. This involves making the play part of your self however. Every action taken is the record of self left upon the world. The play proposed becomes truth and reality once given. Genuine acts put on are also real but in so becoming false this too enters into self. Will the play continue when you meet the other yet again? If so then it is true, even if falseness stalks behind a mask. Was it meant to be a short play to a person who is quickly forgotten? Knowingly acting in a way that self screams against to obtain reaction is both horrible and empowering.

The self

This is the thing that each intrinsically knows and may or may not extrinsically know. It is our own alpha and omega. It is death. Before then is who the individual is. Who I am. Perhaps not entirely who. I who write this am reserved, yet I understand that there are times where I have been unreserved. I assume others. This is a problem with many things. I assume my self so I recognize that others may have their own and each action they leave is an indicator of who and what. Why is a thing I could glean with conversation and intonation but that involves asking and what power I wield with asking comes into play. I desire control but by contacting another I recognize my entire lack of control. If I desire a certain will and spoken manner then what approach based on the past can I afford? It is almost always automatic. Self is very fast for me. Others give automatic replies and reactions. I assume it is very fast for them.      

Power from a group of people:

Power from within:

Power from self:

Power from item:

Power from place:

Power from action:

Power from inaction:

Each overlaps